No, I have not died nor have I been kidnapped but I did have some health problems that took me away for awhile.
To continue my now 8 month tardy introduction story......... I did not find this PB smoker. It found me late one night, with the help, of a runaway watermelon.
Sigh...
Ya'll don't really know me, but I'm old, can really barely move about even tho I'm mostly pain free nowadays but still, my joints and muscles sure ain't what they once were.. moving fast and agile ain't in my present or future.
Months ago, more or less (back in mid 2024 now) , on a Saturday night, I decide to run to the grocery store (H-E-B) because I like to avoid crowds. The store closes at 11 and I got there about 10. Among the things I picked up was a watermelon. Just wife and I so we have gotten into the habit of getting the smaller round ones, the ones that taste like crap but have no seeds and we don't have to waste much. NOT the tiny 'personal' melons that wouldn't feed a cat, but not the giant big round 80 lb ones I remember from decades ago either.
I had/was looking for a smoker to replace the piece of crap combination charcoal grill/offset smoker I've had for about 10 months. It looks 'ok', but, it really sucks. It leaks air and smoke everywhere. By design, the top lid is wider and longer than the bottom half, by about 2" total on the sides, and an inch in the back. Works ok for grilling steaks, burgers and cooking beercan chicken but as a smoker, there's no way to keep a steady temperature on the vile piece of junk. I have no idea which chinaman made these things but he needs to go back to tiny hibachis and fish heads and rice. You can see from this picture, what the problem is with the overhangs. The only place that kinda seals off is along the front. Oddly enough, it's branded "Expert Grill". The only thing it's expert at is wasting time and money, but i digress..
(not mine, but just like it with arrows showing where it leaks.
My son down near Houston that claims when he drives down the street, all the BBQ pits in the subdivision bow down before him had been trying to talk me into a pellet grill, but I resist...
I get done shopping, go to the checkout with 1/2 a cart of Stuff-I-Need (I do 90% of the cooking in our home) there in H-E-B where they thankfully still have smiling human beings running the registers/scanners, with a young cheerful bag person that will offer old folks like me to take my groceries out to my vehicle (I always decline but do tip them a buck or 2, which they usually appear to be puzzled about.) I slip my card in the slot and am relieved to see I got out of the store for under $100 for 4-5 bags of Things-I-Need and a watermelon for my wife. (I don't really like watermelon that much but wife loves 'em) Now about the melon...and this pellet grill
My young son (he turned 47 last year) can have his grill title, but I, am The Master Melon Thumper of all of Texas. You seen Dune where they call up sandworms with a mechanical device, thumping the ground? I'm pretty sure I could do that with just a thumb and middle finger. I've never brought home a bad watermelon or cantaloupe. I know for sure, this is a good one, picked out from a big carboard crate of about 50 lesser quality pure melons from some far off place like Guatemala or Honduras.
I put the groceries in the back seat of my F150.. bought used 2 Novembers ago and has been a great truck but one of the defects of buying a (this) used vehicle is that the light above back seat doesn't work. Not one of those lights from yesteryear where you just pop off a cover and replace a bulb in 2 minutes..oh NO! it's LEDs on a circuit board. Just doesn't work. Not when you open the door, not when you trigger something from the key fob, not when you turn on the interior lights, not when I use my immense Jedi like powers to will it on, not even when you push the button on the light housing. The electrons don't move, that is, they just sit there in their valence orbit, happily circling their copper atom nucleus instead of jumping over to the next atom after being knocked out of their own orbit by a bit of voltage.. Not a big issue to me and I'll get around to looking in to it someday....maybe, if I live long enough. A little light shines in there, from the front courtesy lights, eeking it's way between the tall front seat headrests..
I pull into my driveway, push the sun visor remote and open the big garage door so I can carry my groceries in to the house.
My truck sits thusly, but more in the center of the driveway.
As you can see, the drive slopes out toward the street, but it also slopes slightly over toward the grass.. and then the grass slopes out toward the street. A 2 year old picture with my wife's little black piece of feces Dodge Dart II parked where my truck usually sits.
